Therefore, how can I shape my interactions with her so that I do not diminish her?
~ remember that it is more important that she be happy and feel loved than it is that she is tidy or has good table manners (yeesh)
~ things do not always have to be done my way. why should they? allow her to find her own way sometimes.
~ I are not always right, just because I am the grownup. quite often, in fact, I am wrong. admit it when you are wrong.
~ don't be a bully. she needs me to cut her a little slack and not be so bossy all the time. quit nagging.
~ be aware of what you say. make certain it is: KIND, TRUE and NECESSARY. if not, bite your tongue.
~ I know how to push her buttons and set her off, so why do it? she hates when i nag her, i know that. i should back off and save my input for when it really matters. ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen here? example... she is not drinking her milk. well, the worst is that she will be thirsty and eventually drink something. oh well. or, she is eating with her hands, again. the worst is that she gets messy. it is highly unlikely that she will grow up to be an adult who plays with her food and eats with her hands. but she could grow up to be an adult who feels like her mother was nothing but a grumpy, bossy and no fun lady who constantly rained on her parade. which is worse? duh.
~ don't be mean. don't curse at her, no matter how frustrated you are. that is never an ok way to speak to your little girl. your language matters. never speak to her in a hateful way. she deserves your respect always, your kindness and your patience. PERIOD.
Most of all, just enjoy her. be spacious and allow her to grow. We are so lucky to be on this journey together with her. I am not supposed to shape her. I am supposed to build her up inside, so she can take whatever shape she likes.
OM
